Mending Broken Fences....

Me, myself, and I......

      Hey Loves! Happy Fall! Can you believe that tomorrow will already be October & then only three months left of 2013? Crazy...but I cannot complain because 30 has probably been one of my happiest years in a long time. Sure there are a lot of mistakes I have made, but through each one I am trying to see them, evaluate them, and eventually learn from them. I am not perfect, and I don't pretend to be either. I have to say that if you aren't able to look at yourself and see your own faults, then you're going to have a pretty hard time getting through life. I truly believe that communication is at the root of all misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even broken relationships. Have you ever hurt someone so much or messed things up that it scares you to even think about how to mend things? I know I have, and the ego can get in the way of fixing them too. To be the first to say your sorry is a scary thing I know, but what's even scarier is losing that person.
      I admit my depression in 2011/12 took a toll on personal relationships of mine. I pushed myself further and further from people because I was caught up in my own unhappiness over my health issues, among other things. So for the next three months I plan to work on these relationships one by one. I know that it is almost impossible to mend things perfectly, but what is the hurt in trying? How exactly can we start when the mess looks out of control? Just piece by piece, day by day I guess. Remember it's all in our perception, and sometimes that means not making assumptions of how others feel. That's one of the biggest things I've tried to practice is to not make assumptions over things I have no idea about.
      I'm learning this in my new relationship to not think or assume he'll do this or that like my past relationships. When you expect to get hurt because you've gotten used to dealing with it, well it's time to change your perspective and expect good things! My new love makes me want to be a better person and that is the best kind of love. So whether you are with someone who makes you want to better yourself, or not, just know it's always a positive thing to look at yourself & your life to see what is fixable. Maybe you aren't ready to mend those broken fences yet, but the first step is to start thinking about them. And sometimes that means leaving things the way they are and letting them go as well. Fear can really overtake our life and ruin things if we let it, so we have to put our energy into faith instead. So have faith that whatever messes you've made emotionally can be fixed too. Some may take longer than others, but that is life. So start thinking faithfully, not fearfully.

His love makes me want to be a better me....