Revamp your budget & home...

Hey Loves! Happy Wednesday! I can't believe that tomorrow is Thanksgiving! After that the craziness really starts with the holidays then we'll be starting a new year! So since it's the end of the year I always like to look at all areas in my life and really notice what needs some fixing up. Whether it be decluttering before the end of the year, redoing my budget, or other things it is important to get it done. How about you? Do you like to revamp your life not only at the beginning of the year but also as well as the end of it? 

There's something about starting the holiday season off feeling organized and on top of things. The biggest thing I like to start with is my home. I deep clean it once a week, but now I am also getting rid of old junk before the new goodies from Christmas come in. Here are some tips that I have done recently to feel clear headed and calm before the chaos. 

 

1) Start with your closets and grab trash bags. One for trash and one for the Goodwill. I like to go through & get rid of old clothes I don't wear. They say if it's been there a year, toss it. I toss things in months lol! 

2) Go through your junk drawer...I'll have pictures put aside I've been meaning to mail out or stationary that I've been meaning to use. Put it in a pile so you get to it. It always makes people feel good to get mail not only through the year, but especially the holidays. Make sure all your pens, highlighters and the rest still work too. 

3) Go through your magazines. This is a big one! I have been called the magazine hoarder so what I do is every month or so I sit down and go through each one. I tear out interesting articles I want to still read, products I want to buy, recipes and so on. Then I seperate them in a folder with files by category. Fitness, Inspiring articles, recipes, makeup...etc. It makes things easier. 

4) Clean out your car! Now that your house is done, you want to feel zen away from home. Do a deep clean and take in the house all the things you keep forgetting in there such as shoes, jackets, and so on. Then end your car revamp with a yummy smelling car plug in too.

So now that I've gone over organizing your home, I think now it's time to tell you how I'm working on my budget so I don't feel depressed after Christmas haha. No but seriously we have a baby on the way and were saving for a house. Here's some tips that have helped me that I'm hoping will help you...

1) Minamize the gifts you buy...every other year is fine to splurge on more people or nicer presents, but doing that consistently can be too much. Especially if you have a  financial goal in mind like saving for a house or paying down your debt.

2) Let your close girlfriends or family ahead of time that you won't be exchanging gifts this year. We're at least doing our immediate family, but as far as my girlfriends and their kids I just can't do it this year. And they've all been super sweet and understanding too.

3) Remember it doesn't always have to be something you spend money on. You can bake for your loved ones if you feel bad not giving them anything...everyone loves desserts! 

4) Meal Plan Weekly. Look at your calender for upcoming holiday parties and meals out. Then plan the rest of your meals at home. It's like you're on a diet where eating at home is better for you than eating out. Except it's a financial diet! Also try to ditch to a grocery budget. Ours is about $150 a week: I don't always stick to it, but I try. 

5) Use the cash system. I used this before I even realized it was a thing. There's a ton of financial you tubers who talk about this...but I went one step further than I used to by making wallet seperation slots. I got this idea from youtuber "OCD Much?" Love her channel

and her advice! All you do is get index cards (I still had to cut mine to fit my wallet though.) Then I put post it's on them by category. "Gas, Groceries, and Me. I also made one for receipts. You just slip them where the money would go. When we swipe our debit card nonstop, we can easily lose track of what we spend. 

So there you have it...my tips for revamping your home, car and even your wallet. I am by no means perfect and believe me I'm still trying to work on my TJ Maxx addiction. When things are zen like in your outside circumstances, the mind naturally will follow. This is a gift you're giving to yourself by minimizing stress! I hope this post inspired you in some way and I hope you have a beautiful holiday tomorrow!   

Getting unstuck...

Hey Loves! Happy October! Can't believe we're already halfway through the month. And only two and a half months away from 2016! WOW! Now as you know the New Years is a huge time to set goals, start fresh, and just live the best you can. I gotta say over the past year since I moved to Hawaii I have been living in a prison. Within my own mind...have you ever felt that way? I've limited myself to the point of being handicap socially, professionally, and so on. I did not like Hawaii and that was that. I wasn't with my friends any longer, I wasn't with family, and overall wasn't settled.

 Since I have known that my bf has commited to a certain amount of years here I have been counting the days down...literally. Just trying to get from one day to the next. It's kinda like when you hate your job and you start counting the hours down the minute you clock in. That's how I have been living life. Not a positive way to think or live. But since I have gotten pregnant there has been a lot to think about. It isn't just about me and my boyfriend anymore. It's about the life inside of me now. And I want to be the best role model I can. 

I've always been a procrastinator and would always put things off until the last minute. Or I would just completely miss my chance and the moment would pass me by. Well I don't want to live that way anymore. They say life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Well since moving to Hawaii I have wanted to resort to that comfort zone. Go back to the life I always knew. But would that even really make me as happy as I think it would? 

It's all in perspective and mine has been so negative since moving to Hawaii. I would say "I have no friends, no family, I hate Hawaii. I hate it so much!" But is it Hawaii's fault I've been so stuck? Hell no. It's mine! Playing the victim role and alloying the ego to rule my happiness. After we left our Doctor's Apt yesterday we had just found out about having a boy. We went to Honolulu to celebrate and eat. Walking around there always makes me so happy. It's always sunny, there are a lot of people and great energy. I already felt uplifted! 

Knowing my boyfriend's job has much more opportunity here in Hawaii maybe it was time to stop hating it here and start loving it. We decided the number one reason we have been unhappy is where we have been living. It rains everyday and there isn't much going on in our town. So we started driving around the island and he was showing me potential places to live. I started feeling something I haven't felt in a long time...excitement and hope. It was so sunny and as dumb as it sounds I hadn't seen that in a while. I'm definitely a person who is affected by the weather. Maybe this was a place I could settle into. I have been meeting more girlfriends and stuff so maybe it could. Get back to me. There will be a lot of changes to come in the next few months before the baby comes, but it's all exciting stuff. 

Have you been stuck like me? Where nothing excites you like it used too? Your job sucks, you're bored, and feel your life is mundane? I totally get it and I want you to know it can and will get better. It's all up to us. And I don't know about you..but I'm really to start living and stop drifting through life. 2016 is coming but there's no reason we can't start to renew our lives now and get unstuck. Let's do it together! 

Don't Deny Yourself....

Hey Loves...gosh it feels like forever since I've written and in truth it has been forever. I owe you all a big apology. I have been super flakey and inconsistent on this blog the past few years which in turn would make you guys lose faith in my writing. The truth is...I lost faith in it too. You see, I have journaled since I was 12 years old...which makes that like 20 years! (YIKES!) Don't do the math! Lol! No, but honestly I never use to share my entries or my poetry until I did. And people responded well. So I thought, "Gosh maybe this writing thing could be a career or a fun way to inspire people at best!" I was very consistent the first year and a half and then things took a turn.

 

First, I got a little burnt out from it, but most of all I let people's opinions paralyze my need to write. You see...I've always been a open person. Too open some would say, especially in my writing. That doesn't make strangers uncomfortable, which is great because I truly feel I am writing for them anyways. It's the ones you know who do. My last post titled, "My Inner Battle with Food" got quite a bit of feedback...only it was from the ones I knew. There were lots of concerned texts and calls asking if I was okay and that maybe I should even seek therapy (which by the way I have done and am all for it when needed) but there was also embarrassment on other's mind. Gasp! "How could you be so open about your Binge Eating Disorder?" and "Why would you air out your dirty laundry like that?" 

My question is this..."Why wouldn't I?" Where would I be today if no other woman shared their truth in hopes of trying to help others with whatever they were going through. Whether it be a friend, celebrity, Instagram famous, or whichever, each one of us has a story, and why would we deny someone else that if we knew it might help them in some way? When I wrote that blog post, it wasn't to get attention or sympathy. Heck no! I am not a victim in any sense. I wanted to show others that they aren't alone in their struggle is food if that is their struggle. I know the ones whom let me know their opinions over my post were not coming from bad places, but only concern. I appreciate that. I am lucky to have people whom love me that much. Truly. But that same shame I used to feel after a binge was exactly the way that blog post left me feeling; raw, ashamed, and vulnerable. It wasn't anybody's fault but my own though. We choose our reactions to the actions of others. 

 

Which brings me to my point of this whole blog post. You see, in life there will be people telling you what they think is best for you. Whether that's telling you to zip it when you speak too openingly, or to stay put in life because it's the safe route. But we can't live based off of what people tell us to do. Even if your a people pleaser like me. I stand by that blog post. It took a ton of courage to not only write, but to share as well. And to be honest, it freed me in many ways because I have not binged once since that post. Like I said I've struggled up and down through the years, but to get out of that relapse was one of the hardest. And I think in not denying my personal truth is what really did it. Don't deny yourself the urge to share your story. Don't deny yourself to live your life built on your own expectations. And sometimes you shouldn't deny yourself of that extra piece of cake either. Lol! And I promise not to deny you my blogging due to my own selfish insecurities. Because in the end, as much as we need to read what other's have been through to help us, us writers need to write it out as well to do the same. 

Unconditional Love...

       Hi Loves! Happy Thursday... Hope you're all having a great day! So for those of you who follow my Instagram @selfloveinalatte or my Facebook page, you may have seen we got a new puppy we named Walter Herbert on Monday. He's an Olde English Bulldog and the cutest thing ever! I personally have always been a cat person, but being out here in Hawaii has gotten lonely at times so we figured it was the best thing. I'm on day 4 and luckily he's napping, oh wait he's up! LOL. It's like having a newborn I assume, haha. No I'm not a Mom and I know a puppy isn't half as hard, but it has reminded me of one important thing in life that sometimes we all take for granted; unconditional love. 
       In the past few days I've gotten close to no sleep, been spit up on, peed on, cleaned up poop, and attended to a crying puppy looking scared as he wakes up when I'm not near by. As exhausting as its been, it has been so fulfilling. And it reminded me of when you love something or someone so much, you just LOVE. Obviously a pet is easier than a person, but it all means the same thing at the end of the day. Pets love us no matter who we are, what we look like, and they don't care if we have put on weight, or whatever it be. They love us for our soul.  
     As I looked at my puppy in my boyfriend's arms, it filled my heart because his love is the most unconditional I've ever known. Just as my parents has been, finding a partner who loves you and all of you is the best gift you can give to yourself. Some people don't believe it it can happen to them, or they just have settled in a relationship where they aren't offered unconditional love, yet it doesn't have to be that way. Just like we can control our perspective, we also can control who we allow to love us. And we shouldn't sell ourselves short. Unconditional love can be different for everyone, but I think at the end of day you just want someone to love all of you. Your off days, your silly habits, your bad moods, and you basically just have a certain calmness when you're around that person. You can be yourself in a way you never even realized could be possible . I know at 31, I only accept this kind of love.
      It took me a while to get there though. You have to believe that you deserve it, and don't expect anything less. I have had past boyfriends tell me I was too much of this or too little of that, but now that I'm with my current love he accepts all of me, but also has helped me grow as a person. He helps me realize when I'm being unfair, and fix it. That's when you know someone brings out the best version of you. Not trying to change you, but helping you better yourself when you're ready. This also doesn't just apply to romantic relationships too, it applies to other relationships. If you feel you have to walk on eggshells around someone, and can't really be yourself then it may be time to say goodbye. Also try to approach your own relationships with an unconditional approach as well. Try to understand where that person is coming from instead of judging, but also set healthy boundaries. Because if you can't love them unconditionally, someone else will. Same with the fact of if someone else won't love you unconditional too, then move on because someone else will. We only live once and love is the most important thing in this world. Thanks to my puppy for reminding me how important it really is too.