Live your life despite....

      Hi Loves & Happy Tuesday! I hope you all had a great weekend and are so far having a good week! So the last time we spoke I had just started my gluten free journey. I did a lot much more research over the course of the week, and each article confirmed even more than the last how important it is to be gluten free when you have Hashimoto's Disease. It hasn't been hard because I did it for about 5 months last year and so I know what to expect. During this time in my life, I'm just really trying to embrace and soak up Hawaii as well as the luxury of having free time. Even though I am trying to get healthy again and lose this darn weight, I'm making an effort to still live my life despite being heavier. 
       I always lived in the "When I get there" mentality, meaning landing that perfect boyfriend, perfect job, or that perfect weight then I'll allow myself to really live and be happy. Not no more, because in doing that for so many years I realized I wasted so many opportunities for great memories. When I was at a  heavier weight, years back, for example I wouldn't do as many fun things or put off buying cute clothes because of my bigger size. But here I am at 31, being the heaviest I've been in a long time but it is what it is! I refuse to not live my life to the fullest because of a bigger jeans size. I will live my life despite what my inner critic aka: the ego says to me. i 'm working hard to get back to good health, and that doesn't mean becoming a hermit because of it.
      This weekend was so carefree and I just enjoyed every second of it. I think it really is all about balance. So for example, Saturday we went to North Shore and I had a coconut water, gluten free pizza, salad, a glass of wine, and ended the night with some light fish. Sunday we went to the beach, I brought my almonds and an apple to snack on....and even gasp; bought a new bikini! The old me would tell myself I didn't deserve to buy one until I lost more weight, but I now vow to live my life despite what the scale says, or whatever issue I led myself to believe was bigger than it really was. And you should do the same! Do what makes you happy, despite what someone says about you, despite your insecurities, and despite your inner voice critic! Because honestly at the end of the day, life will pass you by. And were here to live a life beyond our wildest dreams, despite the occasional nightmares. We are here to LOVE OURSELVES!

Know when to Surrender.....

      Hi Loves! Can you believe it's almost Friday already? This week flew by! I hope you're all having a great week! So Monday when I blogged I was talking a lot about body love and trying to just go easier on myself with my thyroid and weight gain. I started at a hot yoga studio that day which offers bikram, along with other classes. I personally love bikram since its repetitive, ( I don't like change) and it's really easy on my wrists. Anyways it felt amazing to be back in a studio, and surrounded by like minded people.
        So even though I'm trying not to obsess over my weight, I still am trying to be aware and mindful, so I weighed yesterday since it had been a week but was up two pounds! I couldn't believe it, because even though I had splurged Saturday I had gotten right back on track! Not only was my weight not moving the right way, but also I have been feeling super bloated and swollen. So this morning I woke up on a mission, and I started researching more and more over the right way to eat when you have hypothyroid aka: Hashimoto's Disease. I actually found way more helpful information on Pinterest, than google.
        What I found was a lot. I guess in a way I knew certain foods that weren't good for patients with autoimmune diseases, but what I didn't realize was that these foods truly can work against our bodies. Despite wanting to lose the weight I've gained, I mostly want my body to have a chance to just be at its healthiest. And how can I expect that if I'm living in denial? Foods that are on the no no list are things such as gluten, soy, sugar, certain veggies and fruits that are high-gylcemic; the list goes on! I've given up gluten before, so that won't be as hard, but as far as the other stuff I'll have to take it one day at a time. 
        Today I weighed again hoping yesterday's weight gain was a fluke, but it wasn't. In fact I was up even more! But I didn't get upset truthfully, I took a deep breath, had some hot lemon water and researched about my new life changes. I was really sore from all the yoga this week, but went anyways because it's like a gift I'm giving to myself. And during class I was in a pose when the teacher said something that really struck a cord. She said, "Know the difference between when to give effort and when to just surrender." I thought that was so profound because it hit me that sometimes in life when you've put in so much effort into something, and yet nothings changing, than it is probably time to just surrender. Surrender to what will be, instead of what you want it to be. And I'm not just talking about weight here, that applies to really anything in life. So within this big health change, I'm choosing to surrender to what my body needs to be healthy. And not so much as what I think it needs. I guess in life, you just gotta know when to let go, give it to your higher power, and know that what is meant to be will be. Just know that sometimes what is meant to be isn't always what was in the plan, it may seem like a more complicated path, but sometimes the more complicated the better the end result. So just surrender and listen to your intuition.

Body Love...

      Good Morning Loves and Happy Monday! I hope you all had a great weekend! So this past weekend was pretty eye opening, in a sense where I really had to look within myself and admit the reasoning of why I have been fighting with depression again. I have struggled with it on and off throughout the years, and it has reared it's ugly head once more.  I know the biggest culprit for it has been my 25 pound weight gain over the past year. I fell in love last summer, so naturally started eating out a ton with him which didn't help, but the main reason for it was being diagnosed with Hashimototo's  Disease, aka: Hypothyroidism.
      After moving to Hawaii this past August, I really fell into bad habits by using food as a comfort because I was in a state only knowing my boyfriend. But about 6 weeks ago, I said enough was enough I have to get this weight off. My clothes didn't fit, I felt sluggish, and I knew that using "food" as a crutch was not healthy because I've done it before. The scale has not been kind though, and I have a feeling my thyroid medicine needs adjustment; but aside from that I realized my mindset needs adjusting more than anything.
       Saturday we ended up going to lunch to eat off of  Hawaii's well known shrimp trucks with some of my boyfriend's buddies, but it turned into a whole day of eating. I decided to let myself just enjoy all the interesting new treats my new state had to offer; garlic shrimp, a fried banana, a apple pastry from Ted's Bakery, and finally some shaved ice. By the time we got home I started to feel guilty. I had portioned everything that day, yet my ego said, "well you screwed up your eating today so keep going." But why do we do this and punish ourselves with more food?
     That night after tons of self-loathing, I had a mini meltdown to my bf about my self-hate for all the weight I had gained, which with my hypothyroidism it wasn't even fully in my control. Either way, I knew that I had to face the fact that I was not in a place of self-love, but a place of shame within myself. Then it hit me that it was OKAY. Being thinner last summer didn't fix my problems, so why was I putting so much emphasis on getting thin again? What I needed was a mind change, to start to get back a healthy attitude over my weight and my body. To use food to nourish it, and not abuse it.
     After lots of tears, and a long talk with my bf, (who is truly my best friend) I realized that this weight will come off either way. But what won't come is these moments again. I live in paradise, and I refuse to hold myself prisoner to my body obsession. I still plan to lose those 25 pounds, but in a healthy approach. As well as experiencing a fun and adventurous time in Hawaii. I need to wake up and see what amazing gifts I have in front of me, and that means nature. There are so many beautiful hikes here in this place that I have yet to experience! So if your in the same place as me, wanting to make a change in your body, let's focus on changing our mindsets first. Let's do things to help nourish our souls, so that we don't have to use food to diet obsession to do that. So today loves...let's start to make a conscious effort to becoming self aware of what our body and mind needs. To just eat to live, and not live to eat. To just love our bodies NOW for what they can do instead of what we see in the mirror. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. I'll be here with you guys along the way!

Everybody's got something to give...

      Hello Loves, how have you all been? It has been nearly two weeks since I've blogged and for those of you who follow me on instagram may saw I stepped on and cracked the screen to my laptop! Note to self; don't put your laptop on the ground. Anyways for now I'm using my lil ipad, not as easy but I couldn't go another week without blogging. Which brings me to the title of today's post, "Everybody's got something to give." And I fully believe that we do.
      You see, as children we're conditioned to go to school, pick our major, and get the career that applies to that major. But what if you have something else to give? What if that something isn't in your college catalog?  Do you just sweep it to the side and forget about it, because it's outcome isn't as promising as the career you went to school for is? Well banish that thought, because here's the thing; we all have a certain talent or talents within us that are meant to be shared. This isn't to say that going to school for a career is the wrong way, because let's say you love to help people so you go to school to become a nurse. Good for you, do it fully with passion! I'm talking about those little hidden dreams that you tucked away because you were told they had no promise.
      Well don't buy into those dream crushing thoughts, because no matter what anyone has told you about your dreams, it isn't their duty to tell you they aren't tangible. It's your job to figure out what your talent is and use it as best you can! The world is waiting to feel inspired by you. I promise we all have something magical to give....think of it as you sharing your gold with the world. Even if you decide not to pursue it as a career, don't abandon it because it doesn't benefit your bank account, use it to benefit your soul!