Good Morning Loves and Happy Monday! I hope you all had a great weekend! So this past weekend was pretty eye opening, in a sense where I really had to look within myself and admit the reasoning of why I have been fighting with depression again. I have struggled with it on and off throughout the years, and it has reared it's ugly head once more. I know the biggest culprit for it has been my 25 pound weight gain over the past year. I fell in love last summer, so naturally started eating out a ton with him which didn't help, but the main reason for it was being diagnosed with Hashimototo's Disease, aka: Hypothyroidism.
After moving to Hawaii this past August, I really fell into bad habits by using food as a comfort because I was in a state only knowing my boyfriend. But about 6 weeks ago, I said enough was enough I have to get this weight off. My clothes didn't fit, I felt sluggish, and I knew that using "food" as a crutch was not healthy because I've done it before. The scale has not been kind though, and I have a feeling my thyroid medicine needs adjustment; but aside from that I realized my mindset needs adjusting more than anything.
Saturday we ended up going to lunch to eat off of Hawaii's well known shrimp trucks with some of my boyfriend's buddies, but it turned into a whole day of eating. I decided to let myself just enjoy all the interesting new treats my new state had to offer; garlic shrimp, a fried banana, a apple pastry from Ted's Bakery, and finally some shaved ice. By the time we got home I started to feel guilty. I had portioned everything that day, yet my ego said, "well you screwed up your eating today so keep going." But why do we do this and punish ourselves with more food?
That night after tons of self-loathing, I had a mini meltdown to my bf about my self-hate for all the weight I had gained, which with my hypothyroidism it wasn't even fully in my control. Either way, I knew that I had to face the fact that I was not in a place of self-love, but a place of shame within myself. Then it hit me that it was OKAY. Being thinner last summer didn't fix my problems, so why was I putting so much emphasis on getting thin again? What I needed was a mind change, to start to get back a healthy attitude over my weight and my body. To use food to nourish it, and not abuse it.
After lots of tears, and a long talk with my bf, (who is truly my best friend) I realized that this weight will come off either way. But what won't come is these moments again. I live in paradise, and I refuse to hold myself prisoner to my body obsession. I still plan to lose those 25 pounds, but in a healthy approach. As well as experiencing a fun and adventurous time in Hawaii. I need to wake up and see what amazing gifts I have in front of me, and that means nature. There are so many beautiful hikes here in this place that I have yet to experience! So if your in the same place as me, wanting to make a change in your body, let's focus on changing our mindsets first. Let's do things to help nourish our souls, so that we don't have to use food to diet obsession to do that. So today loves...let's start to make a conscious effort to becoming self aware of what our body and mind needs. To just eat to live, and not live to eat. To just love our bodies NOW for what they can do instead of what we see in the mirror. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. I'll be here with you guys along the way!
After moving to Hawaii this past August, I really fell into bad habits by using food as a comfort because I was in a state only knowing my boyfriend. But about 6 weeks ago, I said enough was enough I have to get this weight off. My clothes didn't fit, I felt sluggish, and I knew that using "food" as a crutch was not healthy because I've done it before. The scale has not been kind though, and I have a feeling my thyroid medicine needs adjustment; but aside from that I realized my mindset needs adjusting more than anything.
Saturday we ended up going to lunch to eat off of Hawaii's well known shrimp trucks with some of my boyfriend's buddies, but it turned into a whole day of eating. I decided to let myself just enjoy all the interesting new treats my new state had to offer; garlic shrimp, a fried banana, a apple pastry from Ted's Bakery, and finally some shaved ice. By the time we got home I started to feel guilty. I had portioned everything that day, yet my ego said, "well you screwed up your eating today so keep going." But why do we do this and punish ourselves with more food?
That night after tons of self-loathing, I had a mini meltdown to my bf about my self-hate for all the weight I had gained, which with my hypothyroidism it wasn't even fully in my control. Either way, I knew that I had to face the fact that I was not in a place of self-love, but a place of shame within myself. Then it hit me that it was OKAY. Being thinner last summer didn't fix my problems, so why was I putting so much emphasis on getting thin again? What I needed was a mind change, to start to get back a healthy attitude over my weight and my body. To use food to nourish it, and not abuse it.
After lots of tears, and a long talk with my bf, (who is truly my best friend) I realized that this weight will come off either way. But what won't come is these moments again. I live in paradise, and I refuse to hold myself prisoner to my body obsession. I still plan to lose those 25 pounds, but in a healthy approach. As well as experiencing a fun and adventurous time in Hawaii. I need to wake up and see what amazing gifts I have in front of me, and that means nature. There are so many beautiful hikes here in this place that I have yet to experience! So if your in the same place as me, wanting to make a change in your body, let's focus on changing our mindsets first. Let's do things to help nourish our souls, so that we don't have to use food to diet obsession to do that. So today loves...let's start to make a conscious effort to becoming self aware of what our body and mind needs. To just eat to live, and not live to eat. To just love our bodies NOW for what they can do instead of what we see in the mirror. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. I'll be here with you guys along the way!
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