Eating Intuitively My Way...

      Hi Loves...I hope you are all enjoying your weekend. I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is in less than a week. This year is practically over, and two weeks from today I'll be a year older! YIKES! Just kidding I actually love being in my thirties and am ready for a new year. This year has had it's up's and as well has it had it's downs too. I am at my heaviest (gosh I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately and I have been, yet nothing is changing with my weight.) I stopped gluten for my autoimmune diseases, but even that wasn't helping because I was still able to overeat those yummy gluten free cookies...Lol! Just like a drug addict, us food addicts always find a way...or a donut. Lol!
        So for those of you who follow my Instagram @selfloveinalatte you may have seen that I had mentioned last week that I was doing "Intuitive Eating," which is actually a based on a book that I have yet to read but I just ordered it because I am really interested in it. It is basically about how to stop obsessing over calories and dieting so that way you can just listen to your inner intuition. To just eat when your hungry, and stop when your full. In theory, it sounded amazing and so freeing! And it was; for the first few days.
     Let me explain something; when you've been obsessed with counting calories, dieting, binging, and then restricting once again your whole life, it's hard not to go crazy. It is scary to trust your owm intuition of when you are truly hungry or just need a fix. But I love the concept, but I just think it is something that'll take time. By day 5 I had gained nearly two pounds of listening to my intuntion. Yet I knew that wasn't my true inner voice speaking, it was my emotional wounds taking over. And that's where I'm going to really learn how to trust myself around food. It won't happen overnight, but I know it's going to be worth it.
       After so many years of feeling consumed by my weight, and using food as an emotional bandaid, it can wear you down. If you struggle with binge eating or even emotional eating, you know what I'm talking about. So I still am eating intuitively now, but within reason. I'm food journaling again because I just feel better knowing what's going into my body. The other day I made a yummy detox water out of mint leaves , lemon, and cucumber that is super refreshing. I am also giving my body what it craves, like this morning I wanted pancakes. So I made chocolate protein pancakes with egg whites, almond milk, half a banana. And some chocolate protein powder. They were so good and filling. So I made another batch for lunch.. Because why not? I also went to the farmer's market today, got some beautiful produce and precut everything for the week. I already am starting to feel better, as well as calmer. The key is to stop overanalyzing everything and just start living life. Eating to live, not living to eat. I'm not saying I'm cured from my addiction of dieting and food obsession, but I'm on the path of true peace within my choices of food, body, and mind. I hope you all are too.

TRUE LOVE...The Lessons

       Hi Loves! Hope you're all having a great week! So I'm sure most of you have seen or may have heard that Jennifer Lopez recently released a book called, "True Love." My cousin asked me if I wanted to read it than face time about it afterwards kind of like a mini book club. I've always loved Jennifer Lopez so I immediately went out and purchased the book. I read it within two days. It was a light easy read broken up with beautiful photos of her life, as well as inspiring quotes. Her main message in the book was that in order to have a healthy genuine love with someone, you first have to love yourself. She repeated this a lot which at first to me seemed a bit repetitive but than I realized this; loving yourself and staying positive is like building a muscle and it has to be worked on daily in order to maintain it. Here are some pieces of the book that really stuck a personal cord for me that hopefully you can relate to as well.

"In the end, the truth finds a way to surface, even if you don't want it to" ~
When I think about all my past relationships, this quote couldn't be truer. We've all been there! Where you get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach because all the red flags of that relationship are coming to a head. You can't deny it, whether you're being treated bad or you just don't feel it~you know it. One of my year long relationships when I was about 26, I was with the sweetest most caring guy, but I just didn't love him as much as he loved me, which was odd because all my life I always felt it was the other way around. But this time I knew it wasn't right, after planning on breaking up with him one night I drank lots of wine at dinner and the more buzzed I was the crazier my idea of dumping him was so I stayed over as I usually did. Yet when I woke up in the morning my buzz was gone, and I couldn't pretend anymore. And there it was; that pit in my stomach again. I knew what I had to do. 

"The only way you can be mistreated is by allowing yourself to be mistreated"~
This is such a simple concept, but there are so many women that still have a hard time following it. The one relationship that stands out to me in this was one of my exes who was right before the previous one I had just spoken about who treated me amazing. Well this relationship at 24 could not have been anymore the opposite. At first, he was charming and swept me off my feet but that didn't last long. He was completely verbally abusive, yet it wasn't in the yelling at me or cursing at me way; it was more so in the subtle sneaky way. He'd try to make me look stupid in front of others, such as waiters or other pretty females in my presence and things like that. Slowly but surely all of his snide remarks started to chip at my self-esteem. I finally walked away for good and it took a while to recover afterwards, the side effects of dating a narcissist definitely took it's toll. I finally had to realize it would only continue if I allowed it too.

"Sometimes you have to explore the darkness to get to the light and get back to who you are" ~
Oh heartache, I'd like to tell you that it gets easier but usually it doesn't. Especially if you love with all your heart and are all or nothing like I am, and as I read JLo is too. I think what does get better as you go through each breakup, you do realize that you will get through it because you've gotten through them before. Last summer when my boyfriend broke up with me, I was devastated. I was 30 years old and had placed so much hope that he could be the one. But I got through it, and the way I did that was to just feel the pain, accept it, and so that that way I was then able to move on. 

"When you give your time, your love, your respect, you deserve respect in return. You deserve comfort, you deserve honesty, and you deserve to feel safe" ~
This is it, this is the key, the answer to the road to "True Love." In a solid relationship, there should be a comfort in being able to fully be yourself and most importantly to feel safe. I don't mean safe in the way where your love will beat up someone for you either. I'm talking about the safety of knowing that you are in a healthy and secure relationship where you aren't afraid of letting them see every piece of you because you know they'll accept your flaws and all. If you have to question any of the above then it's time to let go. And I promise you that you'll find it in someone if you aren't getting it in your current situation. Last August, barely two months after my breakup I reconnected with my childhood guy best friend. We never had dated growing up but I always felt a safeness and comfort with him. Now were madly in love and it is truly the easiest and healthiest relationship I've ever been in. I'll be 32 in a few weeks and I finally feel like I've gotten it right. 
    So there are some of the inspiring quotes from JLo's new book! It got me thinking about my love life and how far I've come. But I couldn't have gotten there without going through the other relationships I was in before. As well as finding that inner love for myself as well; cause we all deserve TRUE LOVE!

Unconditional Love...

       Hi Loves! Happy Thursday... Hope you're all having a great day! So for those of you who follow my Instagram @selfloveinalatte or my Facebook page, you may have seen we got a new puppy we named Walter Herbert on Monday. He's an Olde English Bulldog and the cutest thing ever! I personally have always been a cat person, but being out here in Hawaii has gotten lonely at times so we figured it was the best thing. I'm on day 4 and luckily he's napping, oh wait he's up! LOL. It's like having a newborn I assume, haha. No I'm not a Mom and I know a puppy isn't half as hard, but it has reminded me of one important thing in life that sometimes we all take for granted; unconditional love. 
       In the past few days I've gotten close to no sleep, been spit up on, peed on, cleaned up poop, and attended to a crying puppy looking scared as he wakes up when I'm not near by. As exhausting as its been, it has been so fulfilling. And it reminded me of when you love something or someone so much, you just LOVE. Obviously a pet is easier than a person, but it all means the same thing at the end of the day. Pets love us no matter who we are, what we look like, and they don't care if we have put on weight, or whatever it be. They love us for our soul.  
     As I looked at my puppy in my boyfriend's arms, it filled my heart because his love is the most unconditional I've ever known. Just as my parents has been, finding a partner who loves you and all of you is the best gift you can give to yourself. Some people don't believe it it can happen to them, or they just have settled in a relationship where they aren't offered unconditional love, yet it doesn't have to be that way. Just like we can control our perspective, we also can control who we allow to love us. And we shouldn't sell ourselves short. Unconditional love can be different for everyone, but I think at the end of day you just want someone to love all of you. Your off days, your silly habits, your bad moods, and you basically just have a certain calmness when you're around that person. You can be yourself in a way you never even realized could be possible . I know at 31, I only accept this kind of love.
      It took me a while to get there though. You have to believe that you deserve it, and don't expect anything less. I have had past boyfriends tell me I was too much of this or too little of that, but now that I'm with my current love he accepts all of me, but also has helped me grow as a person. He helps me realize when I'm being unfair, and fix it. That's when you know someone brings out the best version of you. Not trying to change you, but helping you better yourself when you're ready. This also doesn't just apply to romantic relationships too, it applies to other relationships. If you feel you have to walk on eggshells around someone, and can't really be yourself then it may be time to say goodbye. Also try to approach your own relationships with an unconditional approach as well. Try to understand where that person is coming from instead of judging, but also set healthy boundaries. Because if you can't love them unconditionally, someone else will. Same with the fact of if someone else won't love you unconditional too, then move on because someone else will. We only live once and love is the most important thing in this world. Thanks to my puppy for reminding me how important it really is too.