Oh Baby....

Hey Loves...How are you all? So I've been thinking....I would love to hear more about you guys & what you would like me to write about on this blog. This is a two way conversation so let me know any posts or ideas you would want to read about. To be honest...I have been sort of on a writer's block since my last post. As some of you may have seen on my social media I just announced a few weeks ago I'm expecting my first baby. It's so crazy how things can change within a few years, seeing that I had written about ever even having kids...and here I am; knocked up! Lol 

It started in June. I went to my yearly "girl apt" and I remember telling my Dr. I had had done the deed without protection...but wasn't worried because I always thought I'd be one of those women who take forever to get pregnant. We even did a test but it showed up negative. Little did I know I was already but it was too early for my test to detect. A few weeks went by...and it was the middle of July. I was trying to workout and was having the hardest time jumping because my breast pain was so extreme. "Well guess I'm gna start my cycle," I thought. A week went by and still no cycle, but my breast tenderness was out of control. 

Fast forward to taking the test. I took the first one. "YES," with a plus sign. I walked out jaw dropped. No way. Took the second one. Same answer. I couldn't believe it. My love was ecstatic. And so was I now. Things I believed before diminished within a second. My eating/diet obsessions went right out the window. Because it wasn't about me anymore. My selfishness quickly faded in that moment.  

So here I am 15 weeks pregnant and it still doesn't feel real. I don't have a full belly yet, but I def. feel different in a lot of ways....here are just some. 

1) I cry...a lot. Happy, Sad, and "I have no idea tears" are a constant. It's actually funny because they're mostly over something not even that touching, like a cheesy commercial. 

2) I'm itchy! Coco butter helps but not always. 

3) Freedom from dieting. Yes everyone says eat healthy, which I do a lot but I also let myself enjoy & not feel guilty like I did for nearly 17 years if my life. It feels...well great. 

4) I don't have control over my body, the swelling, the exhaustion, and things like that. I have to just go with the flow. Which has been really hard, although with having an autoimmune disease I do know that feeling of not having control always. But I have never been a fan..lol! 

5) It has brought me closer to my boyfriend. I didn't think I could love him more, but now it's a whole new level. 

And last but not least...you'll have to buy new bras every other week. Lol! At least I do. But all in all....it's kinda cool knowing your little one is nesting up in your belly. Last week I had a meltdown to my Dr. over not feeling attractive anymore or in control. Yet hearing my babies heartbeat a few minutes later made it all go away. Because you're building a life, and that baby is already depending on you to eat well, sleep good, be positive, and well take care of her. It's humbling in a lot of ways and I wouldn't trade it for the world. And if you haven't already experienced it, I hope you do.