Seeing the Beauty even when it seems impossible..

Reading Poolside while Tanning...

Sunkissed....

Packing for my Trip as I watch Beverly Housewives!!!

Hi Loves!!! Happy Sunday!!! Hope you all had a Beautiful Weekend! Tomorrow I leave at 4:30am for my Trip to Chicago! I'll have my sunglasses just in case the paparazzi tries to bother me..LOL! Anyways I feel still many emotions at the moment..I don't know. I feel so very lucky to have so many amazing & family who have been sending me get well wishes & telling me how much they love me & are praying, even 2 clients started crying when they saw me not being able to walk. It was so moving that my clients care so much & feel my sadness. It made me sad as I comforted them, "Don't cry it will be okay.." Which was so funny to me that I was comforting them, but so heart warming. The pain has gotten worse in my joints, my walking has gotten slower, & tonight I started to feel my knees buckle a bit. They have not fully but I am bringing my cane just in case. So this coming week is Ashley's Wedding. I really have to try not to let my upset emotions over my health problems override her happiness & excitement this week. It's not gonna be easy I'm not gonna lie. I am trying really hard to believe that it will go away by the wedding because I can't imagine not being able to dance at my best friend's wedding. We have been in so many weddings together as well as attended so I pray that God gives me a break just this once. I have been resting, got a massage today, & my Mom treated me to a mani/pedi. She insisted I get the cucumber scrub massage on my legs & feet. She could tell I did not feel well & I think it was her way of cheering me up! She's the best! It's those little generous things she always does that make me smile. I sat & read in the pool yesterday after taking my pain pill, I figured if I was gonna lay in pain it might as well be poolside while tanning while reading my latest book; "The Glass Castle," by Jeannette Walls."50 Shades of Gray" is next because I gotta see what all the fuss is about! LOL! Today something really exciting happened when I woke up to one of my best friend's telling me I am gonna be an Auntie! That was amazing to hear her glow over the phone & it truly allowed me to pull myself out of my funk & see the beauty of other's lives. All my friends are starting new chapters in their lives...marriage, kids, playing house with a boy, etc. Everybody has their own path & maybe I'm just a late bloomer. Here I am 29 & life is happening..sometimes it feels like for everyone else. I am not gonna compare myself to other friends lives who seem happier or ask God "Why me?" Why couldn't he delay this relapse till after my trip..because well Why not? He must truly see a strength in me that I'm still sometimes looking for. When people say to me, "Your so strong," I smile but wonder "Am I?" I have to be, & I know there are so many people way worse off than me. But I can still have my days. But not this week, because this week will be Ashley's Day. I am so grateful to see this chapter of her life take place in front of my eyes...my best friend getting married. So beauty is near...